(This post was written a couple weeks ago, but I haven’t put it out on my blog yet, ’til now.)
I really don’t even want to talk about this. But it’s really making me emotional and bothering me, so I’m going to anyway. (Wow…now that I got THAT out of the way…..lmfao.) And, what BETTER place to talk about it, than the blog of an Avon lady!!!!!
Despite being heavily interested in beauty and aesthetics, and….MAKEUP, I, unfortunately, have always had a craptastic complexion. And what a bummer it is, as all aspiring makeup artists have one main canvas to practice on….THEMSELVES.
The suckfest of items that plague my face: big pores (which I have ALWAYS had, and it appears to run in my family), acne, hormonal breakouts, BACKne (acne on the back), chest acne, and erratic dry and oily spells. There is also this WEIRD smell the oil on my face has when it gets greasy. EWW! The acne itself can be “normal” or cystical…which is the kind I hate because it HURTS, and there’s almost nothing you can do about it because it’s so far under the dermis (bahaha, like my nice attempt at dermatological wordage?).
My acne issues started when I was 12 but got really bad when I was 15 and 16. That is when the cystical crap started happening. When I turned 17 and 18, things got a little better. And then I was on the pill and went tanning here and there, so I was doing much better and had only mild breakouts. The tanning helped (despite me being nervous about skin cancers worries) a little and covered up the acne scars, especially on my back. I still had the acne at 17 and 18 that I will probably always have, but it wasn’t anywhere near as bad. And it wasn’t constant cystical breakouts. I still got an individual cystical zit here and there, but not one right after the other. Then, after all these years of having things mostly under control, things recently started going HAYWIRE. And I can’t pinpoint the EXACT reason why. I stopped the pill (birth control), thinking I could lose some puffy fat that just isn’t coming off. WRONG answer. Because ever since about 2 months after I gave birth, I gained WEIGHT like never before in my life. Not even when I was PREGNANT. But AFTER. And along with all these hormonal changes and tweaks, now come some severe, erratic changes with my complexion. This is absolutely horrifying and dumbfounding.
Now, I’m back to the painful, and constantly-cropping-up cystical acne, that just seemed to creep right back into my life after I went off the pill in October 2010 (I think it was anyway). Also, since I went off, I haven’t had my lovely monthly female visitor on my own. I honestly think it has something to do with THAT, mainly….the LACK of normality with my cycle. (Geez, I wonder what acne issues MEN go through.)
That’s when this bizarre, different type of acne came in like little attack forces, coming out of the woodwork. I remember Nicola from Pixiwoo (on YouTube) mention something about “hormonal” acne (which, I’m pretty sure all acne is hormonal on some level anyway) and how hormones are causing her breakouts around the areas of her jawline/neck and the outer perimeter of her face. I’m definitely experiencing this, so it’s all put-together in my mind now. HORMONES. Stupid bastard hormones that don’t deserve a life. Haha.
So, I’m back on the hunt for a great new facewash (a different one), in hopes that it will work. It’s very frustrating when the same regimen you’ve used for years no longer works, thanks to whatever hormonal changes that happened in the body since having a child. The acne embarrassed me in middle school, high school, and even still, although I don’t get AS embarrassed about it now. I’m actually able to just say “screw it” and leave the house without makeup on. Whereas, high school…FORGET IT. I got up at 4 a.m. every day so that I could shower before EVERYONE (my parents had one bathroom at the time, so my Dad insisted that I was the first one to shower so everyone else could have hot water, and since I “took so long” with my “getting-ready” process). Then I did my makeup, and that took like, an hour, at that age. I was very elaborate with my hair. (Now, NOT SO MUCH. Bah.)
I was DETERMINED to NEVER be called a “Pizza Face” ever again…That was by 2 bully girls in 7th grade, on the bus, who apparently still are bullies (recalling more recent experiences with each one).
It was working…..all the time I took on my makeup every morning made me RISE ABOVE all the rude and evil insults from the bully girls. I was a total hottie. Now…I’m just a fat hottie. Hahahahhaa. But oh well. But yeah, F them bitches!!!!!!!
That ingredient is the one thing that has worked better for me than other acne-eliminating/-reducing “active ingredients”, such as triclosan, benzoyl peroxide, etc. I have had decent times with the AcneFree version of Proactive, and now I just saw at Walmart that they have a true generic version, of the Equate name (Walmart’s generic). (Proactive, Acne Free, & now this Equate one, all have benzoyl peroxide as their “active ingredient”.) Money has always been an issue in replacing emptying treatment system packs, and it’s even harder now, which is why I’m just going to try adding ONE new product in (the Clearskin Blemish facewash) and see if that will help…Just changing/adding one new thing at a time to see what helps. THEN I’ll go back to try the generic pack of Equate stuff if all else fails. The only thing I wish they would change about their benzyol peroxide facial cleanser, is to turn it into a FOAMING cleanser. Despite people saying that “foaming” doesn’t necessarily mean “better/cleaner washing results”, I still feel cleaner when I have a nice foaming cleanser. (I’m the same way about laundry…if I can’t SWOOSH my soap around & see bubbles FIRST, then I can’t handle it, haha. Which is why I will ALWAYS go for a top-load washer, versus the new-styled side-load ones. Like, what do you do if you forget some clothing articles???? I’m ALWAYS forgetting things!)
So…WISH ME LUCK! I will post about it when I receive it and am able to start using it daily.
You can find Clearskin facial products at my online store, here.
Or, to purchase the Clearskin Blemish-Clearing Foaming Cleanser, click here.